Monday, December 8, 2008

The Demon Run

I am on a freight train of mortality. I am wise enough now to understand the gravity of feeling well, or, what I imagine it feels like. I constantly dream of flying, trekking lush mountains, skimming across the top of the white crested oceans and opening my eyes after a long, life-giving sleep and feeling bliss. One might think these dreams are liberating, a portent of things to come. Not so. I wake feeling such painful longing, deep sadness, irrational grief and gut-wrenching fear. It is supernatural in its intensity as I feel my body attacking itself, in chaos ripping itself apart. I have no control now. I have to leave it to the professionals to make some sense of all this illness. I do not feel entirely powerless over the course of action I am prepared to take. I know that the universe is on my side and the unshakable belief that since I have been this sick, I have attracted a guardian. Unseen, untouchable but protector nonetheless. This is the first time in all these frightening years that I have felt this protector. It is a sign. So I shall breathe with peace and purpose, even if I feel none and be thankful for all that I am and have. Time is marked by my baby Coco dog as she sits at our back door, melting into the night as her coat matches the darkness. Forever vigilant, protecting her mistress and guiding her home with the navigation of the moon. I know who my unseen protector is. It is in the wise eyes of my supernatural dog. Her eyes that occasionally rest on me and say "I know you more than you have ever been known, I love you unconditionally and I will protect you to the death". Maybe I have loved her before. She is the talisman that is my protection against all that is death and evil. Welcome to the Demon Run.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I too am on the Freight Train of mortality. I have been on it for a while. Crossed a lot of bridges clanked over a few pionts and got held up at a few signals. I have been fortunate that the trip has been fairlty comfortable and now its getting closer to the end of the line and I wonder if there will be anybody there to meet me at the terminus.
But it does'nt matter because I have a return ticket on the memory express and I will be passing through. Maybe if Coco gets too busy I can give him a hand.

mica said...

Hi anonymous, Coco would be honored and humbled to have you as her right hand man. I am absolutely certain there will be someone there to meet you at the terminus. Coco will be there to repay you for all the times you have stood vigil with her in protection of her mistress and use her innate knowledge of navigation to get you to your destination, safely.